


Hottie Across the Hall

by boy_grey



Category: Star vs. The Forces Of Evil
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Age Changes, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, F/F, M/M, My First Work in This Fandom, Slow Burn, This will be a happy fic, no demons or powers, office workers, pinning, very slight angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-24
Updated: 2019-04-23
Packaged: 2019-06-15 15:57:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15416463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boy_grey/pseuds/boy_grey
Summary: Anxiety is easier with someone there to help you.But Brittney doesn't come and Tom is screwed in more ways then one now.Slow Bu~rn (well it was supposed to be) and ALL of its unbetad (That might be a lie now bc I might have found a really awesome beta)





	1. Anxiety's a Bitch

**Author's Note:**

> like i said its unbetad so i'm sorry if it's jumpy or full of mistakes.
> 
> If anyone wants to help me and be my beta HIT ME UP BOI. i can beta too so like if anyone wants help with that yeah.
> 
> and this is my first fic in this fandom and i'm very open to feedback and friends from here.

“You can do this. Just introduce yourself, give her the cake and tell her when she can bring the platter back. Anyone can bake, you’re not weird. She’ll like you or at least she’ll like the cake.” I breathe, trying to calm my racing heart. Staring at myself any longer in the mirror won’t stop my anxiety. 

The landlady explained earlier that the girl living in that apartment is the nicest person living in the entire building. I have no reason to not say hi except the floor is moving and I can’t focus. My breathing is speeding up again and when I focus my eyes nothing in my living room stands still. My breathing changes again as I close my eyes and remember breathing techniques. 

After I evened out my breathing, I grabbed the cake, and walked to the door. Opening the door is always the hardest part. My feet grow heavy as I stand in front of the door unable to take action. The mental battle is exhausting but once I raise my arm I'm golden. I walk over to my neighbors door and knock before I think too much. I hear thumping and a few well placed muffled curses the door swings open revealing a man that I am not prepared for. Casually talking about the cake or how I could set up my house won’t work. I’m screwed. I’m double screwed when he looks up at me.

His skin is a beautiful brown color and even though his eyes and hair are brown they stand out against his skin. The guys eyes are copper and speckled with light golden colors while his hair is a deep chocolate color almost black. Though he starts talking before I can notice anything else. 

“Uh, hello?” The guy raised his hand in an awkward attempt at either a wave or a gesture to get my attention.

“Ah. Hi, I’m your new, new neighbor. I just moved in across the hall,” I said rushing to finish my thoughts.

“Hey…” He pointedly looked at me as his voice trailed off and I realized I never said my name.

“Tom,” I practically yelled at the guy. “Tom Lucitor,” I finished weakly.

“Well then, hi Tom. I’m Marco Diaz nice to meet you.”

“Does he have cake?” a girl, the one the landlady must have mentioned, yelled from behind Marco. The same voice I realized I heard talking in the apartment when I moved my life in earlier. The volume explained why I could hear her while I moved.

Before Marco could talk I answered, “Uh yeah, it’s half vanilla half strawberry.” I held the cake in front of me like a peace offering. Using all my willpower to make both of them see the cake and not me. “It’s a family recipe.”

The girl only had eyes for the cake though as she came over and immediately grabbed and pulled the cake away from me. She hungrily stared at the cake as she turned around, and then turned around again to reach forward and grab my still outstretched hand. “I’m Star by the way and thanks for bringing me cake,” she said enthusiastically shaking my hand the entire time she spoke. Star turned around for the last time and basically ran to the part of the apartment I assumed was the kitchen.

“Us,” Marco yelled over his shoulder, “Thanks for bringing us cake Tom.” Marco smiled at me while Star caused a startling amount of noise in the apartment. I could see the nerves creep into Marco’s smile and possibly the tightening of his hand on the door. 

My anxiety barreled into me at the same time and I needed to leave. “I just came to introduce myself and I need to get back to unpacking. All I have unpacked right now is my baking gear,” I said already backing away from Marco to my door. As I ran back to my apartment I thought I heard Marco say something about asking but I couldn’t understand him. Luckily I didn’t lock my door so slipping through it was easy. 

I leaned against the door, slid down to sit on the floor, and rubbed my face with my hands. Crap. I didn’t say bye to Marco or Star, I just ran away from the situation. Marco’s going to think I’m an asshole now and he was the cutest guy I had met in at least a year. All I did was shove a cake in his, and probably his girlfriend’s faces, and left without even saying goodbye. What if he doesn’t even like cake. He probably just accepted it for his girlfriend to eat. Even if he likes cake I’m the only freak whos favorite cake is strawberry.

Why am I always so impulsive. I take a look around my apartment, the messy kitchen, the boxes covering the living room, the open door to my room, and the empty room that will be filled up by the end of tomorrow. I can’t calm down. 

Focus.

Count five things in the room that I can see, four things in the room I can touch, three things in the room I can hear, two things in the room I can smell, one thing in the room I can taste, and finally deep breaths. My old therapist saved me when she taught me that trick. 

Once calm I can think rationally. Star obviously liked the cake so if anything I’m golden in her book, Marco was nice so not saying bye one time won’t make him hate me, and Brittney is coming in tomorrow to move in and help me unpack. All I have to do before I go to bed is make sure I have a bed and some clothes for tomorrow.

Of course it’s now that my stomach decides to remind me that I skipped lunch to bake the cakes by growling. It should be fine if I buy something from a restaurant and have it delivered--I haven’t ate out in weeks anyway. Deciding and ordering a pizza takes five minutes and the pizza should get here in twenty. Now I have time to clean the kitchen and hopefully find the box with the T.V. in it.

Twenty minutes later I’m waiting for my pizza ready with the tip in hand. Twenty-three minutes later I’m still waiting. Twenty-five minutes and my stomach growls again and I peak my head out the door to look down the hallway. What I see freezes me in my spot. The pizza delivery guy is outside Marco’s door, with Marco, arguing. Marco looks confused and frustrated with the guy who just appeared to be done with the conversation.

“Look, dude I already told you we didn’t order a pizza. We don’t even like vegetable pizza.” Marco’s frustration evident in the way he gestured with his hands.

“Okay, dude,” the pizza guy mocked, “but it says here apartment 210, paid with card, and tip at door. So can you just like take the pizza so I can deliver the last one I have? I need to get back to the store.” The guy was bored with the argument but just as frustrated as Marco.

“Let me call the--” that’s when Marco sees me hiding behind my door. “Hey, Tom.” Marco waved. “Did you get a pizza by any chance?”

This is the worst. I must have ordered too fast and typed in Marco’s room number instead of mine and of course I can’t force myself to speak. I shake my head yes while stepping out into the hallway. I’m at least a foot taller than the delivery guy and I look like i just finished two different home workout videos. He still flinches when I stand up straight causing me to shrink back into myself. I thought in the city my colored hair and makeup would be considered normal but I guess I was wrong. 

“I’m so sorry. I accidently put the wrong room number. I just moved in today,” I talk quieter than normal trying not to scare the guy anymore. I hold out the tip and the delivery guy gives me the receipt to sign while pocketing the tip.

“It’s fine,” the guy dismisses before giving me my pizza and taking back the receipt, “Have a nice night.” 

After he’s too far away to hear us Marco starts talking to me. “You’ll have to remind me to tell you about the best pizza place ever later. They’re way better than some chain restaurant and they even deliver here.” Marco sounded happy at the end and excited almost like he had the pizza with him here. 

“Yeah sure.” I’m more on autopilot now trying to keep my anxiety about the situation under check. “Oh, I forgot to tell you earlier but you can just drop the platter the cake is on anytime after five. When you’re done, done with it of course.” I waved my free hand in front of me. “Not to, not to rush you or anything.” 

Marco snickered slightly at my obvious panic but spoke more sympathetic and understanding then rude and uncaring. “Star already finished half of it but I’ll make sure to bring back the stand when we’re done eating it.” He started walking back to his apartment but turned around last second. “Ah, Star said it was the best cake she has ever had in her life.” 

I could feel the smile forming on my face when I looked down and my face started heating up. When I looked up to tell Marco thanks he was already back in his apartment. I guess I did take a little bit before saying anything and I didn’t expect him to stand around in the halway to wait for my answer. Nothing could dim the growing smile on my face though and I almost yelled right there in the hallway but instead of making so much noise I made up a little victory dance right there on the spot. Star liked my cake and she said it was the best cake she had ever had. The anxiety of making and delivering the cake was worth it. And since Star liked it Marco would probably like it too. I almost danced again before realizing that I was still standing in the hallway. 

After a quick look around I ran back into my apartment ready to tackle the rest of my unpacking. One entire pizza and twenty boxes of my stuff later it’s ten thirty at night and I need to go to bed. I start my new job tomorrow and I can’t be late on my first day. 

Of course my alarm doesn’t wake me up. At least I wake up with thirty minutes to get ready even if that’s really not enough. I end up spending that thirty minutes running into every piece of furniture in my apartment. I barely have time to fix my hair and put on my usual eyeliner before I have to run out the door to beat traffic. Luckily I make it to work early for the orientation like I wanted to. Work was easy after that, orientation wasn’t hard and my new job is higher in the food chain then I thought it would be. I even managed to make some tentative friends and got to eat with them during the break. 

I’m tired when I get home but it’s not nearly as bad as my last job. When I walk into my apartment Brittney’s not there and my phone is blinking on the counter. She was supposed to get here before I got back from work but she’s probably running late like usual. Walking over to pick up my phone I realize that the reason it’s lighting up is I have a new voicemail. I let out a sigh of relief when I see notice the voicemail is from Brittney’s number and quickly open my phone. 

“Tom I’m not coming to LA. I hope you understand but I really don’t care if you do or not. I’m breaking up with you. See if you can find someone else to live with since I know you can’t afford the apartment by yourself. Bye.” The recorded voice asks if I want to save the message, delete it, or listen again but I can’t move. Without activity the voice box hangs up on itself and I’m left standing in the middle of my apartment with the dial tone ringing in my ear. This apartment was for us. It’s not supposed to be my apartment, it’s supposed to be ours. We were going to start over, together. Like she said I can’t even afford this apartment by myself. I’ll have to move to some shady place or worse back home. 

I call her back and it goes straight to voicemail. Call again. Voicemail. I keep trying, again and again, and about the fifth time it’s different but instead of her voice its a recording telling me my number has been blocked. The dial tone drones on as I let my arm fall away from my face. Everything was going so well here. I had nice neighbors, some nice people at work, and my job was wonderful. 

My face is wet but it doesn’t matter. My knees almost give out but before I can sink to the floor, my doorbell rings. I look up, staring the door down, afraid I’m imagining the sound. The bell goes off again. I stand up and my knees don’t wobble too much. My phone hits the floor as I use my hands to wipe my face and even though it was loud, I don’t react to the noise.

I don’t remember walking to the door but there is was in front of me. When I open it Marco is standing in the hallway smiling with the cake platter. He opened his mouth, about to talk, before he raises his head to see my face. Which makes him close his mouth. 

“Hey, are you okay Tom?” Marco asks and I can’t stop my emotions. He has such genuine concern for a person who has only known me for a day. I feel my face grow wet again and I’m sobbing uncontrollably before either of us can get another word out.

I know I shouldn’t be crying like this in front of Marco. We barely knew each other, but he was the closest thing I had to a friend here. 

Marco seemed surprised at my sudden burst of tears but the surprise quickly turned to panic as he yelled Star’s name over his shoulder. He awkwardly tried to comfort me with the arm that wasn’t holding the cake platter and he started making shushing noises as if he was trying to calm a baby. When Star didn’t show up Marco threw his head around and yelled her name again. 

After the second yell Star came prancing out of their apartment and I didn’t even have time to wonder how loud Marco was before Star was on me. She came at me like a hurricane, all over the place but still powerful, and quickly asked if i was okay with her hugging me. I gave a quick jerk of my head to say yes and she steadied my trembling form with her hug. I can feel my body shaking against hers and her sweater become damp from my crying but the floor isn’t swaying anymore and she’s not letting me go. My arms feel connected to my body again as I wrap them around her and burry my hands into her sweater holding her tighter then I thought I could before. 

I don’t remember moving but Star has us sitting down before my knees give out again. She grips me tighter when my shaking doesn’t stop and I’m not sure if she’s starting to shake or if I’m shaking her. 

“Hey--” she pet my hair trying to calm me down more “--you can tell me what’s wrong if you want to.” I can feel her adjust her grip on me as she shifts a bit.

I finally lifted my head out of the comfort of her sweater and looked around. Star ended up moving us on to the couch and I guess Marco followed since he was sitting on the other side of Star watching me with concern. I know I look like a mess with my eyeliner smudged on my face and my face red and blotchy from crying but Star is looking at me like I’m the most precious thing she has ever seen. I sniffle again before letting go of Star to wipe my face off with the sleeve of my shirt. Knowing I didn’t wear waterproof eyeliner today I sadly look down at Stars probably ruined sweater.

“I got my eyeliner on your sweater,” I said weakly.

“It’s no big deal.” Star looked at the sweater in question and shrugged. “I have The Star Butterfly Patented way to get rid of any stain.” She gave me a small smile.

“She broke up with me,” left my mouth before I knew what to say. “She called and left a message that she’s not, that she’s not coming down here and she, she broke up with me and now, and now she blocked my number. She wouldn’t even answer the phone.” I could feel the tears well up behind my eyes and my vision started to blur. 

“Shh shh,” Star starts petting my again as she talks and my voice dies down. “Hey, if she broke up with you like that she doesn’t deserve you. Okay?” I shake my head and Star continues, “Okay, then can you breathe with me for a bit. To calm you down and make you feel better. Marco go make some hot tea.”

And just like that it’s me and Star sitting on my couch trying to stop me from having an anxiety attack in my living room.

It feels nice talking to Star. Though she appeared flamboyant when I first met her she came here with a calming aura that invites me to spill my guts to her. So I do. 

I tell her about how this is the start of my new life or was the start of my new life, how I can’t afford this apartment by myself, how my relationships always end with the other person breaking it off because of my anxiety, and how my last boyfriend was the reason I needed to leave my hometown. Star sat there though all my blubbering and gave me encouragement when I started to slow down. About halfway through my speech I realized Marco hadn’t come back but I was alright with that since Marco had already seen me crying and acting lame today.

Everything felt better now, I felt lighter from talking so much. The sun had set but the lights were calming and with Stars warmth beside me it felt like I could stay here forever. The emptiness that had consumed me wasn't gnawing at me anymore rather Star’s warmth sank into me.

“Do you want to eat now?” Star said after I had been quiet for a while. “I told Marco to order pizza from our favorite place. You’ll love it I swear. And I would offer cake but I kinda already ate it all.”

I laughed before getting up and walking to my kitchen to pull the apple pie I made last night out of the fridge. “It’s better fresh but is this a good enough substitute for my cake? Or should I bake another one?” 

I could hear the smile in Star’s voice when she said, “Pie is perfect with pizza.” As we were walking over to their apartment though Star added, “You should definitely make more cake though.”

When we walk into the other apartment Marco looks relieved to see us though he's probably more relieved to see Star since she’s his girlfriend. Before any of us could say hi though Star walked past me, grabbed Marco by the wrist, dragged him to a farther corner of the kitchen, and held her finger up behind her telling me to wait one second. The corner she picked wasn’t too far but I still couldn’t hear what they were talking about. I sat the pie down on the kitchen counter but before I could sit down Marco shouted a surprised really while glancing at me with a smile. Star quickly pulled him back into the two person huddle they created and shushed him. I got a little anxious thinking that they were probably talking about me since Marco kept looking my way with this cute little smile on his face but I sat down at the barstool and waited anyway. 

After a few more minutes of them whispering Marco squealed and when I looked over he was hugging Star and spinning her around in a circle. They both looked so happy and excited that I wished I could be in a relationship that wonderful. He looked so happy and I much prefer him with that smile other then the expressions I made him have earlier.

“So Marco ordered our favorite pizza, a supreme with extra mushrooms, and a cheese one because he didn’t know exactly what you liked on your veggie pizza. Which by the way how do you eat that?” Star said suddenly right beside me. I must have zoned out for a second when they moved. 

“That’s fine, I’m vegetarian so I usually get cheese or veggie pizza.” I leaned back slightly surprised by her sudden closeness. 

“Wait is this pie?” Marco practically yelled in his excitement, “I love pie.” Marco appeared almost as happy as Star was about the cake if not more. 

“Uh yeah. Apple, another family recipe.” I can feel myself shutting down but I can’t really stop it. I’m too overwhelmed by Star and Marco’s dazzling presences. They looked so good together hugging. Why can’t I ever find someone that’s so invested and happy for me. Maybe I could ask them how they found each other and since we’re friends they might be able to introduce me to cool new people.

My chest starts to loosen as I realize we’re probably friends now. The knots in my stomach start to untie themselves when I realize that they will help me and I feel like I can actually eat. When Marco brings out the pizza he tells us both to dig in before grabbing his own slice and I'm light enough to eat again. I end up eating slowly, my appetite still not fully back, but the pizza is good and Marco and Star are here to keep me company.

Or Marco since when I glance over at Star to thank her she appears invested in her pizza and something on her phone. I decide to thank her anyway even if she wasn’t really paying to much attention at the time.

“Thanks for calming me down Star.” I finish my first piece of pizza before Star easily shoots me a thumbs up and I continue. “Do either of you guys know any places that are hiring? I’ll need to get a second job to cover my rent.”

“Hold on. You can’t afford your place with your current job?” Marco studied me confused. “Why would you rent one of the bigger apartments if you can’t afford it?”

“Brittney was going to help.” I huff a little. “Now it’s all on me--” I rubbed my face with my hands “--but at least the first month is paid in advance.”

Marco pales and blushes a little at the mention of Brittney and out of the corner of my eye I see Star look up from her phone. Star watches like the calm before the storm as Marco’s panic rises. Before Marco can start apologizing I cut him off with the wave of my hand.

“Don’t worry about it, I’ll have to get used to saying her name again anyway. Besides I know you didn’t mean any harm. It’s not like you got to hear my tragic backstory--” I include air quotes around tragic backstory “--like Star did.” I tried to sound casual about pouring my heart out to Marco’s girlfriend but it was a little hard. 

“Well maybe I can learn about it later.” It was a smooth line but coming from Marco all second meaning is lost. Marco appeared constipated after he finished the simple sentence but with a nudge from Star he started talking again. “Maybe we could hang out together later? Get to know each other more?” Marco sounded like he was second guessing himself but I knew what he ment.

“You mean like hanging out with friends?” I asked excited that he would already consider us friends. I started to smile and move up and down with little bounces in my excitement. My excitement dimmed though when I looked back up to Marco and he didn’t seem as excited as I was. “It’s okay if you really don’t want to.”

“No, no I would really love to hang out with you more Tom,” Marco rushed to say scanning my face as his words made me brighten up again. I started smiling more and that’s when Marco decided it was the perfect time to stuff the rest of his pizza slice in his mouth. 

When I glanced back over at Star she seemed happy Marco and I were getting along with each other. She was eating her pizza with content and occasionally glancing at her phone and typing something out. That reminded me about the time and when I checked the clock it was already ten thirty. 

“I should probably head back to my apartment and start looking for a second job,” I said glancing at the clock again. I didn’t want to go to bed after midnight since I have to wake up at 6 tomorrow for work but it already seems like I’ll have to stay up later then that. It sucks that I can’t hang out with Marco and Star more but I spent most of tonight crying after work. As I stood up to leave Marco stopped me with a gentle hand on my shoulder. I took in Marco’s and Star’s faces and thought they seemed a little sad that I had to leave.

“If you need anything, anything,” Marco hesitated for a moment before continuing “we’re here for you alright?” 

A weird strained noise forced its way out of me before I shifted my gaze to Star and nodded my head. I didn’t really know if either of them made any comment back to me since I immediately fled from their apartment and back into mine.

Slamming my way back into my apartment I finally slow down and walk inside. My foot lands on something hard and I jump back in surprise already annoyed with myself for leaving something on the floor. When I look at the apartments floor my phone stares back at me screen black with a little blue light telling me I have a message. I don’t know why my phone is in the middle of my apartment on the floor but I bend down to pick it up anyway. When I pick up my phone something rises inside me, sitting in my gut like a weight. It feels hard to breath and before I can leanger on it any longer I put my phone down on the kitchen bar. 

I’m screwed if this feeling, this thing, comes up everytime I look at my phone. Distracting myself will at least take my mind off my phone and anything involving Brittney until I have to set my alarm for tomorrow. 

I move over to my couch, grab my laptop and get cozy. Pulling up a few different job search websites I start searching. Luckily there are a handful of different types of night jobs with openings around my area although I would prefer not to be standing all night like some of the jobs require. I end up applying for a few night time receptionist jobs, that basically sound like all I’m doing is sitting and watching a door, and a couple different twenty four hour coffee shops. It’s probably too late for human resources to be around so hopefully by tomorrow I’ll have a few responses back.

After closing down all the programs on my laptop, I got up off the couch and stretched. Glancing at the clock it reads eleven thirty. I should go to bed. I walk over to the kitchen’s bar, grab my phone and set an alarm for six. Walking over to my room I shut off all the lights until the apartment is swallowed by darkness and the only light seeping in is coming from the windows. I strip down to my underwear and plug in my phone before going to sleep.

Though six comes way too early the next day.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tom fips out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here i come back at it agian with unedited chapters but hopefully I'll get it edited later and repost it all fixed up in a couple fo days for you guys I just really wanted to get this out there since it's been so long.

The next morning I’m more exhausted than I normally am and considering I almost call in on my second day of work standing up off my bed is a huge accomplishment. Later I realize that calling in would leave a bad impression and moving was my best decision this morning. 

Finally working my way towards the bathroom I look in the mirror and almost recoil. Someone must have ran over just my face last night without my knowledge. The bags under my eyes didn’t deserve to be called bags being basically the size of a small cornfield. And my hair. Hopefully a shower and makeup could fix most of my problems. Though of course I only had my darker concealer which was too dark for me right now. 

Of course my morning couldn’t get any worse until I remembered I was out of tea. Thus I arrived at work directly on time with coffee chain tea, eyeliner, damp hair, bags under my eyes, and an exhausted composure. 

By the time I get to my deak three people I bonded with yesterday have already asked me if I’m okay and a few more have given me the look. Not having time to talk other than some quick promises about lunch I hurry to sit down and start my work for the day. 

When lunch rolls around I’ve been through three cups of tea not including my morning tea and have grown more tired from the day. At least on my lunch break my new friends didn’t push the subject about why I couldn’t sleep. Instead keeping on the lighter subjects about my welcome party and how they were excited to see my place. 

Talks about the party eventually led to the food and drinks that would be there and one of the girls said she wasn’t going to show up unless there was good alcohol there. Of course someone immediately said they were on it already making the entire table laugh. 

Lunch combined with all the girls trying to cheer me up made the rest of the day go by with less tea and time. The good feelings only lasted until I saw my apartment complex again and thought about walking inside my room. 

I knew the house needed to be fixed but I couldn’t put myself up to it. After parking my car in the underground parking I left the apartments behind completely and left the area completely exploring around the building without looking back. 

Five hours later I find myself sitting in a park numb from the cold. Luckily no one bothered me even though I hogged the bench for three hours and counting. The only mistake in my plan was not stopping to get something to eat or drink during my house escape. Finally I sit up ready to fix my apartment when someone stops me. 

I duck my head some more. “Sorry I’m about to get up,” I mumble already moving to stand up. 

“Don’t move on my account,” a familiar voice teased.

Surprised I looked up freezing in place as Marco sits on the bench next to where I was sitting.

“It’s a bit chilly out yeah?” he asked pushing a mug into my limp hands. Leaning back he took a sip out of his mug hiding his face.

When he let the mug down I could see the cutest blush on his face and he wouldn’t quite meet my eyes. Looking down at the mug settled in my hands it looked like it came straight out of a teenage girl’s fantasy kitchen. Covered in rainbows and flying unicorns the mug was full to the brim with hot chocolate. I pull the mug to my face watching Marco’s.

My hands still a few millimeters from my face. “This is homemade,” I say in awe.

“Yeah,” Marco blushes some more, “Well Star doesn’t have work today and she noticed how you came and well went really fast and I kinds saw you in the park on my way home. And this is the best form of comfort I know.” The last sentence coming out rushed. 

I smiled into my mug at that and turned to face the park again as I sit down. Sighing I leaned against Marco’s shoulder enjoying the silence and slowly sipping on my hot chocolate. But Marco kept squirming and it felt like he wouldn’t stop until I answered his silent pleading.

“It’s perfect. Thank you.”

Marco practically melted after I spoke. He sank lower into the bench and even the shoulder I was leaning on sank a little lower. Having Marco relaxed against me felt nice after last night’s crisis. I was happy that he wasn’t scared to hang around with me even though I scared him last night. 

“I hope you know you smell like cocoa and vanilla,” I say breaking the comfortable silence that fell over us. When Marco tries to scoot away from me I laugh a little and grab his arm to stop him. Pulling him in closer to me I relish in the closeness I won't have with another person for a while. 

After we sit together in a nice silence watching the people in the park and enjoying the hot chocolate. I’m almost done with my hot chocolate before Marco speaks again. 

“So I know breaking up sucks and hot chocolate won’t fix everything even if it’s homemade but if you want we can come back to mine and marathon bad rom coms?” Marco sounds nervous suggesting his idea and started fiddling with his long empty mug.

Knowing I could say yes easily makes me pause. Watching rom coms with Marco, my hot next door neighbor, sounds like the perfect way to spend the rest of my night. Have what I wish to be a date and keep it as a cold reminder that I can’t always get what I want.

“No, sorry I actually have to get up early tomorrow for work but thanks for the hot chocolate and you know the company.” Standing I stretch and offer the mug back. I’m as ready as I’ll ever be to go back to my lonely apartment, lonely life. 

I smile at Marco before turning to leave the park. As I turn I swear I see disappointment cross Marco’s face but my wish to be wanted probably constructed that image for me. 

Making my way through the building I make it to my hallway before I see anyone. That being Star coming out of her room dressed to the nines and locking the door behind her.

“Star,” I say surprised, “you look nice.” 

“Awe, thanks Tom. Gotta look nice for a date you know,” she said back moving away from her door. 

I motion for her to spin around and she gladly does while giggling. Her pastel dress floated around her during the spin and the over the top makeup look balances the whole outfit out. When I give her two thumbs up her words finally sink in. 

I feel my face heating up as I reply, “Oh God. I’m sorry I didn’t mean to take up your date time.”

“It’s okay Tom. I’ll be early anyway.”

“Good I’ll get going so that you can meet up with him. See you later Star,” I said waving bye. Unlocking my door I checked over my shoulder to see Star looking at me confused. Not thinking much about her confusion I waved by one more time before disappearing into my entryway. 

I sighed leaning back against my door. Marco’s time shouldn’t have been wasted on me. For fucks sake Star and him have a date tonight. He should have told me to leave before he spent a good, I glanced at my wall clock, two hours sitting outside with me doing nothing but drink hot chocolate and be an emotional support. I must have looked so out of it that he even offered to watch dumb rom coms with me and miss his date. 

I’m an idiot for becoming so reliant on Marco and Star in such a short period of time. I almost ruined their date night and caused myself so much hope at one time. It’s time for me to stop relying on people for my own happiness. 

Grinning to myself I step over to my kitchen determined to make myself feel better. Cooking for the next few lunches and making sweets has always been perfect for lifting my mood. The calmness of baking settles over me while I spend my night in the kitchen. 

So the next several hours are spent with me elbow deep in different batters, doughs, and fillings. This is where I find myself at eleven when my doorbell rings.

“Ah, come in?” I yell somewhat confused, “It should be open.” I don’t bother checking who it is since few people know I’m living here anyway and I quickly regret that decision. When Marco comes in after I hear my door shut, I’m floored. Marco looks good. He must have just came back from his date with Star since he has on an adorable sweater and skinny jeans. 

I’m acutely aware of the flour that covers my shirt, my usual baking apron which contains a disgusting amount of frills, that I love, and how I know without looking that I have flour and different ingredients all over my face and hair. Quickly looking back down at the batter I continue mixing the last few ingredients for my last batch of cookies. 

“That’s a lot of sweets.” Marco laughs a little. “Looking to feed an army?”

Glancing back to Marco I watch him glance around my kitchen. The amount of cookies and cupcakes I made in the last few hours could make an army sick. Looking away from Marco I study the mess I made of my kitchen.

“No. Baking helps me think though and I’ve been doing a lot of that. Well thinking that is.” Looking back to my dough I realize it’s done and I stop mixing to prepare a fresh pan for baking. “Did you want something to eat? It would be bad for me to try and eat all of these myself.”

“Oh yeah sure Star always likes sweets around the house. Although I really came by to see how you were doing but it seems like you’re doing just fine without me.”

I hum in disapproval. The company couldn’t get any better but Marco probably didn’t need to know that. I amble over to the oven and bend over to push the pan into it. Setting the timer I turn around towards Marco. 

When I look back towards Marco again his face is red and he wouldn’t quite look me in the eye. Moving past Marco’s weirdness I walk through the kitchen picking up bowls, spatulas, and measuring spoons. As I gather everything up I Round back to the sink to throw everything in and start the water.

Once the water is hot I can start washing the dishes. Cleaning up clears my mind nicely and I start into my normal thoughtless routine. I’ve lost myself enough in my mind not focusing that Marco startles me when he makes his presence known.

“What tune is that?” Marco asks innocently enough. He’s leaning against the island and watching me with a smile.

With a start I realize I was humming my mom’s favorite kitchen clean up tune. I turn my head back towards the dishes before rinsing off the dish I’m holding and setting it on the dish rack.

“Piano Man,” I answer. “It was my mom’s favorite song to listen to when we baked and cleaned.” Reaching for another dish I will that to be the end of the conversation. 

“What happened?”

Another thing that I’ve become used to, the questions. They’ve changed the longer she’s been gone differing from ‘are you okay’ to ‘what’s wrong with you’. Everyone in town knew what happened to her. With me. It’s been half a year since anyone asked what happened. 

“She died. Cancer. Last year.” I shrug haphazardly. Yet another reason to leave that God forsaken town. 

The silence sat heavy in the room and I try not to let Marco’s lack of response get to me. Most people don’t understand how to deal with others loss. I keep washing the dishes. Hoping to distract myself from the conversation at hand. I’m so caught up not looking I don’t hear Marco move. 

Arms come around my waist and hug me against a surprisingly hard chest. 

“I don’t know what it’s like and I can’t imagine how you feel but I’m sorry you had to go through that alone,” Marco whispered into the air. He stands behind me as a quiet, steady weight as I wash. 

I easily sink into the embrace as I wash. Quietly letting the conversation die. I don’t cry. I can’t anymore when I think of her. Rather, fond memories of her bring me joy in bad times.

I’m almost done with the dishes the next time I speak up. Moving to put one of the last dishes in the drying rack as I talk. 

“You and Star are both touchy people aren’t you?”

I accidentally startle Marco and he tries to pull back out of the embrace. As he retreats my arms quickly trap his to my sides stopping all his movement. 

“No. It’s nice.” I relax my arms. “Go back.”

His arms come back around my waist stronger holding me back against his chest again. I slowly start to finish the dishes and we stand in comfortable silence. 

Just as I finish the last dish the timer goes off causing Marco to jump away from me. I smerc as I turn towards him and raise an eyebrow. In response to my look Marco turns a dark red and mumbles something about surprises and ruining. The timer yells a second time.

Laughing at Marco’s second smaller jump I grab my oven mitts and check the cookies. Seeing the slightly brown bottoms of the cookies I pull the pan out and replace it with the last one. 

This time I pick up my small hand timer so I hopefully won’t startle Marco as much as my oven timer. Moving through the motions easily I take the cookies off the pan and move them onto a cooling rack. 

Out of the corner of my eye I see Marco make an aborted movement towards me though neither of us speak as I finish moving the cookes and go to wash the sheet. Sneaking another glance at Marco I notice he moved back towards the hallway and out of the way of the kitchen helpfully. 

“I guess I should be leaving then.”

It comes out of the blue startling me and putting me on edge. I don’t dare turn around to see if Marco noticed as it’s an aspect of myself I hate the most. That small stutter of a movement that shows how I can’t handle surprises anymore even if they are good ones. I can hear the small shifting Marco makes behind me yet I don’t turn. 

“Ahh right. Sorry I’m not the best company right now but I’ll see you later okay?”

It comes out like a question even though I don’t mean to make it one but Marco starts to leave without answering.

At least I thought he was leaving when he comes to wrap his arms around me one more time in a hug and whispers a goodbye before he flees. Once he’s gone my apartment lapses into silence again with the humming of my oven my only accompanying noise.

As I finish the dishes I start humming again. The melody spills through the air and the vocals sit in the front of my mind. Grabbing a dry dish I move around the kitchen gracefully putting up dishes with swirls and spins thrown in still humming the whole time. Before I realise it I’m singing. 

“He says, ‘Son, can you play me a memory  
I'm not really sure how it goes  
But it's sad and it's sweet and I knew it complete  
When I wore a younger man's clothes’” 

My cleaning has turned into dancing as I move around the kitchen with no pretence of cleaning anymore. As the last dish I grab, a bowl, becomes my dancing partner as I continue.

“Sing us a song, you’re the piano man  
Sing us a song tonight”

I can picture my mom grabbing my hands and pulling me around as a kid both of us laughing. 

“Well, we’re all-”

My small timer screams shrilly breaking my illusion. My humming once again stops. My breathing slows back down. My cheeks damp. 

I move back around the kitchen and put my dancing partner away before taking the cookies out of the oven. Putting the last batch in tubaware and setting the newest batch to cool I sit down to wait.

By the time I’m truding to bed my kitchen is clean again and all the food I made is packed cleanly into tubaware and put away. I’m so tired the moment I hit the bed I pass out. 

I wake up in a good mood finally and the day only gets better when I check my emails and realize that several of the night jobs I wanted emailed me back. There is a definite skip in my step by the time I go off to work. 

At work the cookies are a hit with my friends and they all demand I make something for the welcome party too. With a few pleads from some of them and one or two demands from others I agree easily. Already having too many sweets for five people let alone just me at my house makes it no problem to put a batch or two of something out during the party. The day only goes by quicker after that and the time spent at my desk seems only a fraction of the time I actually spend there. 

By the end of the day my mood has only gone up. Work went well, I’m two batches of cookies lighter, and I sent off and received a few emails from the different job offers I got to set up interviews. I just make it to my building when everything goes to shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment or kudos if you like it it makes my day when someone likes the things that come out of my head. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!!!


	3. Authors note

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Update

Hey guys, 

You were probably hoping for a story update and I'm sorry I'm working on that right now but I just wanted to give an update for this story.  
I will be posting more frequently on this story durring the summer so you can look forward to that. Right now though I have two more weeks until finals and I'm super busy so I probably wont update until after finals at least. I am also hoping to get top surgry soon and that sould be fun. So this story is continuing my life is just hectic and I promise not to give up on it. 

Thank you all,

Grey

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you enjoined reading it. 
> 
> leave me fic recs or comments in the comments below maybe? i enjoy reading them as much as writing them.
> 
> i'm also finally back on tumblr. catch me at boy-grey.tumblr.com


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